people and pain

Credit :fb

    It has been days since I wrote my last entry.Well,I was quite busy,school would start soon,yeah,huhuhu.So,when I was scrolling the facebook,I saw that ☝ picture,and I was touched.I always got uncomfortable with oversensitive people who get upset or sad for a very small matter.And it happened that I realized that I am oversensitive too(it always happens that things I hate are what I have/am too)when I told my friend about something that made me very sad and down she said;
                                                     
                                                              "Itu ja pun"
 
    When I saw that pic☝,it made me think that 'sensitiveness' is a trait that exists naturally in people with different scale.People who are too sensitive would cry even for some things that others do or say that not even confirmed being directed to them.And it's quite good too because those people are alert with others change of mood so they would act rightfully when around that moody people.
    Talking about being sad about some things,yes it is right that it does not matter how sensitive you are,when it hurts you,it hurts you.People view saddening things differently,some things that are not hurting others would be hurtful to them based on what had happened in their personal life.It could be too depressing when they have to hear that one thing that are really really umh to them.For example,people who rarely or never being insulted or people never talk harshly to them would get hurt when someone did that to them,even when that certain someone doesn't really mean it.While others would just be okay with that.
      I don't know if that too sensitive attitude which leads to overthinking could be changed because some mature people still have that attitude,maybe it's a gift actually.However,it causes people around them especially their closest friends and family members have to be careful with their actions and words.And it's quite hard when we don't even know that they are this oversensitive species.
      Idk,that picture☝ kinda want to say that oversensitive doesn't exist because what hurts you,hurts you,but people who are too sensitive does exist right?😅
 

Sekian, bicara banyak isinya kurang.

From Wana with Love 💕

forgive and forget??

    Ok.This going to be hard,I know people won't really accept this kind of thought.I rarely speak based on experiences,mostly based on theories from my reading.Why? Because,saya tak banyak hal dengan orang.However,now I want to write from what I've been through,what I feel.I know this is not easy,but just try,this time,use your mata hati.People who knows me would say,
"how can you give us this kind of advise?you don't know what we have been through!"
Siapa kata.
I know how it feels when your bestfriend throw you away like a RUBBISH when she got new friends.
I know how it feels when you know your bestfriend said a lot of bad things about you right at your back.
I know how it feels when your favourite person,that you admire,you respect,did something to you that made you feel bodoh and embarrassed for fully time admiring that person.

Kan,kejam kan manusia.
Kejam betul manusia buat kita rasa macam rubbish.
Kejam betul manusia buat kita yang sayang diorang macam orang bodoh.
Kejam betul manusia buat jahat kat kita.
Kejam betul manusia,manusia itu kejam.

Tapi,nama lagi manusia kan?
After all,we are all just human being.
 
    When we forgive someone,yes we could not forget it.Sebab otak kita sihat,belum ada amnesia,apa lagi jenis yang kuat ingatan.Sorry,joke.Yes,when it leaves such a great pain,sadness,anger,lost and many more,it really hard to forget.We will always see that person as someone who hurts us,despisable.So,if we still have that kind of feeling,have we really 'forgive'?The problem in hard to forget comes when there's some thing wrong in the "I forgive" itself.And why should us forgive?
   Simple,to make us happy,and for them too.Siapa kita nak susahkan kematian orang lain,nyawa tersekat kat kerongkong time sakaratul maut sebab ada orang masih menuntut maaf dari diorang?Kenapa kita nak seksa jiwa kita sepanjang hidup fikir pasal luka di masa lalu?Sedangkan kita tahu,orang memang akan buat salah kat kita,tak semua orang baik.Tapi orang yang tak baik tulah lagi kesian dari kita,dorang tak tahu dorang buat salah,Allah tak suka,dapat dosa.Kesian kan?Sabarlah,ingat kalau betul dorang jahat,Allah bayar cash kat akhirat.Tapi kalau diorang tu Muslim,dan kita sayang saudara seagama kita,cuba kita kurangkan risiko diorang untuk masuk neraka
atau susah payah nak cari kita kat Mahsyar nanti masa matahari sejengkal dari kepala.Sebab itulah matlamat tertinggi seorang Muslim, tak nak susah di Mahsyar,tak nak neraka.
What if they made us lost something?
     Ingatlah,semua datang dari Allah.Dan diorang juga ujian dari Allah.Memang susah nak latih hati untuk redha,tapi kerana Tuhanmu,maka bersabarlah.
     Then,when we get to forgive,we will still remember those painful memories.We will remeber,but we should not live in it.That one motivator said that people failed to be happy because they keep living in the past.We should not let that memories make us sad,upset and depressed all the time.Move on,and move in lah.Memang sedih tapi benda dah jadi kan.Life goes on.People change,and everything changes,but stays.Why not just take lessons from what had happened,keep it in your heart ,keep it as a guide for the future.Stop hating.
   I remember Rasulullah S.A.W used to say that this one sahabat(I don't remember who) will be in Jannah even his amal was just like other people,nothing really special.It just that he never hate people.Why can't us be like him?
     Yes,it's hard to forgive and forget,and this post sounds childish,lol.Just imagine what if people we hurted did not able to forgive and forget our wrong doing on them?Very stressful right?
So,let's.
Sekian,bicara banyak isinya kurang.

From Wana with Love 💕

Sometimes,kita 'ter'

One day:
Fren:Macam mana pula mo jadi pandai?
Me:kita fokus masa study,bla,bla,bla dan jangan tiru kerja rumah kawan.(menyindir sebenarnya)
Fren:hehe
Another day:
Me:Aduh,macam mana pulak aku tertinggal kerja syariah ni semalam,adui sudalah banyak,mana sempat siap!sudalah syariah awal!
Perhimpunan nak start dah!
It ended up with me copying my friend's paper during the school assembly.

Fren:Wah hebat oh si Wana tiada buku pun boleh jawab.
Me:Saya menyalin pun ni,hehe.
There,I realized saya jilat ludah sendiri.

One day,
My friends and I were having dinner.We were in a programme.Two of them were busily mocking that one girl's talking style.It surprisingly same and a lot funnier.I was mad of that but accidently laughing crazily becoz it was toooo funny.
We went to attend a slot.Then,there was a supper session.After taking my food I walked to a table and accidently sit beside the girl that had being mocked.
She:Wana...(eh she remember my name).macamana nak menghadapi orang yang cakap belakang kita?
At that time,she seemed to ask that sincerely.
Me:*dalam hati* alamak,baru je tadi aku terjoin orang2 yang gelakkan dia.

Then,I gave her a lot of advice,even knowing that I had been part of them who laughed at her.It's not about her,just the way they imitate her which was too funny.Sorry friend.



Muhasabahlah diri kita,dan hati-hati dalam tindakan.Tiada orang yang sempurna,tapi berusahalah ke arah sedikit 'kesempurnaan'.

From Wana with Love 💕

Kisah-kisah Memalukan

Sometimes in life we do embarrasing mistakes,and we really hope that those mistakes were never be done.People say maybe those mistakes could be used to make us laugh,but some of it really makes me cringe every time remembering it.So,I think I will dedicate it here lah tanpa sebab.

#1.When I was little,around 7 or 8 gitu,I followed my uncle's rombongan meminang to now his wife's house.When I saw now his wife sitting among us,some one asked me "Mana cantik,dia ke ummi?"(my mom is quite pretty so if someone being said prettier than her that would be a pride,haha).I took a look at her,she's beautiful actually but I think I just tried to buat lawak at that time and said,
   "Hmmm,ummi.Yang ini banyak jerawat."
I'm sure everyone terkejut at that time,and I was not feeling guilty at all until my grandma told me about menjaga hati orang in the car.
Remembering it back make me regret it so much.I never apologize to her until today,I'm sure she still remembers that.If the 'you get what you give' really works,maybe my future nieces or nephew would say I'm ugly during my peminangan.

#2. When I was waiting the flight to KLIA,the friendly Ustaz Sabudin who was our pengiring at that time asked me,
"Hifzona anak sulung?"
"Nda ustaz ada abang saya."
And he asked me some thing about him(probably his age,I forget.)
"Oh,dia lepasan SPM"I told him.
"Oh,jadi dia tengah tunggu tawaran pegi U lah ni?"
"Tidak,sudah dia sambung form 6 di SMK Lohan."
Then I realized why did I said he is lepasan if he already back to school.(he got to be at Uni shortly after that,alhamdulillah).That's like my first conversation with him,such an ugly first impression.


#3. It was one night during my debate training in the library with my teacher and other two boys.The library is located just beside the juniors' classrooms.It happened to be that night the juniors(girls only) really-really noisy.I got distracted and decided to go to their classes.I went there and saw some girls inside the classes.Actually I'm not really familiar with my juniors' faces,you can count with fingers the amount of form 1 and form 2 students that I know.The worst part is I don't even know which floor is for form 1 classrooms,and which floor for form2.So,that night,I considered that all the small girls in the classes beside the library are form one.When I returned to library,the girls are still bising and I got upset.My teacher asked:
"Mana pula tu yang mengilai-ngilai?"
"Sana cigu(the form two students),budak2 form one."
"Oh,durang belajar di atas..."
I started to confuse,but I confidently say yes.So he went out ,he was teaching form 1,maybe he went to tegur them.He returned and said some things I don't really understand(actually I don't understand most of things he talked about when he walking back from some where,haha).Then I started to questioning myself if the kids were really form one.And tomorrow I got to know that's form 2 classrooms.Lol.Hopefully that night it's magically happened that all form one students study in the form 2 classes.Or my teacher would just consider that all form 1 students magically disappeared from that class when he went there.A good lessons for me to 'peka dengan persekitaran'🌚.


#4.When I was a kid I  love to read the Ujang magazine so much. One day,at Kota Bharu I went to buy it at the stall and asked the pokcik for it.When I returned back from the stall with tangan kosong sebab habis my brother told me that just now I asked the pokcik,
"Ada Ujang kah??"(this is Sabahan's slang)
I don't even realize that I accidently use 'bahasa luar'  while buying a magazine,and it's bahasa Sabah.So far from Klate.

From Wana with Love 💕

Every Face of Beauty

After all,roses are always lovely right?

Beauty are an unmerited gifts,given randomly to people(here I would like to talk on women's beauty).How can someone be considered as a beauty?For me a beautiful face would have thick lashes,wide eyes,bright iris in any color,high cheekbones,tall nose and full lips.Other characteristics in a face I would put them in the cute or sweet looking categories.People may have other perceptions in describing a beautiful face.Cantik itu subjective after all.

 When I was a kid,some people would compare me with my lovely younger sister,yes,I was quite plain at that time.So,until I was officially a teenager,I was lack of confidence about my beautiness(ntah apa punya vocab).It made me quite down at that time,I thought that having a beautiful face is a very crucial part in any girl's life,and me not having it at that time was very dissapointing How pitiful right?A little girl being stressed out for not being pretty.I had always imagined that I would grow as a very dull looking lady.At that time I  not really know how important to be grateful,and how every girl's look would change once they bloom after puberty.

In consequences of that painful childhood experience,I have grew an obsession to observe every single pretty lady(that I know).I love to know so much about them,their personalities,their achievements,how their siblings look like,their dark sides,their marriage life,and their happiness.I  love to describe what make those ladies beautiful with my friends,even they not really into that topic.

And I learn that beauty doesn't really guarantee someone attractiveness.They said you have to be confident to look attractive.Maybe that's true,people still call very very shy girls lowong even they're  lovely.They're just very eye pleasening. And it's very saddening to be called lowong.Being confident doesn't mean you are dare to talk in public with a mic all the time,to give a talk you must be very good in talking.Being confident with your looks and yourself is enough to make you could mend in with people and make yourself attractive.Tapi ikhtilat kena jaga lah,jangan terlampau pula.

             
Having bad manners with beautiful face such a big spoil.Yang ini nak tengok pun menyampah.And you should not use your beauty to gain attention,Allah forbids women to show off their beauty to ajnabi, that would open path to zina.Nowadays we see a lot of muslimah even the niqabis posting their pictures in social medias improperly to gain likes or loves.It's such a shame.And indeed,Allah gives us beauty to test us.It's such a gift for us to see beautiful faces around us,and sometimes we see it in the mirror.We should be gratfull by 'using' it right.
    Macamana pun rupa kita,we should appreciate it,we're all Allah's creation,we're all beautiful.And Allah tak menilai rupa kita,melainkan hanya taqwa.Dan mencapai redha Allah adalah sasaran hidup kita,bukannya mendapat pujian manusia semata.For all women,macamana hodoh pun kita rasa diri kita,jodoh tetap ada in shaa Allah(hehe,jangan risau).Sekian bicara banyak isinya tiada.

From Wana with Love💕

When I supposed to enjoy,but I didn't

Bahagiamu deritaku (candid tau ni) 

 Shortly after the  PMT ended up,my new kenalan both from Sabah and Sarawak created a group for all of the members,including me.In the early scroll,I saw this:

Person: siapa kawan kamu yang paling susah senyum(I don't know the point of asking this actually)

Gojes 1:Iwana

Gojes 2:Iwana

Yes,it's me.Loud and clear.I'm not offended actually,it's true after all,I smile sangat sikit all through the programme.Even it supposed to be fun,since majority of the time we were visiting tempat-tempat best,I didn' really excited.During my vacation to Langkawi with my besties and our wonderful teachers 2 months ago,I was happy like monkey got banana.Nisbah saya senyum masa program dan Langkawi ialah 1:15.

Ya, aku tak salahkan PMT,it was outsanding,marvellous.Cuma setting saya tak betul.Berikut merupakan alasan napa saya tak ceria masa tu:

#1.I was the only participant from our school,which was the only sekolah agama student,I cannot really mend in with them.Cara kita berbeda.

#2.I was emotionally unstable during that period,my classmates would know why,and my roomates too,thank you for being with me roomates,they knew my problem.I thought this vacation could distract me,but not pula.

#3.Masa dia agak padat,aku pulak jenis lambat macam slug,soo,stress sikit.

#4.I had visitted some of the places(only two actually),but Ice City was great,I did enjoy there.

Kesimpulannya,it's not ur faults friends,it was only me,with my broken heart.Sorry abang2 kakak2 fasi kalau saya tak supportive,timing salah gima.Btw,the program was great,haza mumtaz minkum.I was impressed,I had learnt a lot there.Thank you.For Miza and Diana,thank you banyok for being with this baby tua hihi.

Amazing view from our room.

From Wana with Love 💕

Cubaan Pertama:flight alone(bikiiin malu)

Kalau bleh nak no feeling gini

          Ok, ceritanya bermula macam ni.Disebabkan family aku dah sampai pun Kota Bharu masa aku habis program PMT tu(bukan PMS tau lol,lame),aku kena lah balik alone ke situ.Maka,bermulalah pengalaman pertama Nana ini naik flight alone.Punya excited dia,memang hari yang dinanti-nantikan.

Sampai sahaja dia ke airport,selepas  berpeluk-peluk cium sikit-sikit dengan rakan-rakan tersayang tapi kali ni takde pulak air mata mengiringi perpisahan,aku pun pergilah drop luggage ditemani Cigu Shahril.Ayat terakhir dia "janganlah sedih" buat aku tertanya-tanya muka aku memang selalu nampak sedih kot.Aku pun masuk lah menunggu gate buka.Masa tu flight around 45 minutes lagi,maka aku nampak kedai.Untuk merasa diri ni sangaat matang,aku belilah majalah Mingguan Wanita,air mineral(matangnyaaa!!😆) dan coklat Toblerone.

Masuk flight,aku duduk sebelah seorang syeikh(dia pakai jubah dan nampak warak,cerita pun pasal Umrah dengan partner sebelah dia tu).Maka,coklat di tangan+majalah+air+duduk sebelah orang yang tak berminat nak cakap dengan aku =HEAVEN DUNYA.Aku pun makanlah coklat tu sikit-sikit sambil baca majalah.Sebelah aku ada budak pompuan umur 2 tahun yang sangat cute,kaki pendek pastu duduk melunjur,pakai skirt dan stokin huhu.Macam dia nak je coklat aku.Risaulah pulak,dahlah sikit.

Tapi,lepas baca cerpen 'Busuk' dalam 

majalah tu,aku ngantuk tahap dewa.Effect coklat maybe.

Aku terlena dalam rindu(eh),coklat masih berbaki dua bar dalam genggaman.Aku pun tido lah,ngantuk betul.Nasib baik pacik tu sibuk becerita dengan pacik sorang lagi taklah malu sangat aku nak membuta.Sedar-sedar ja aku rasa lain macam kat tangan.Atukkoi,cair sudah pla coklat itu!

Kotor giler tangan aku time tu,seolah olah aku sedang genggam s*i* je.meleleh leleh.Aku cuba untuk tak panik lah kan,pelan2 capai tisu poket dalam handbag sambil tapuk itu tangan.Lap punya lap tangan aku tak pandai bersih,ah sudah payah nak hilang pulak dia,takkan aku nak jilat kut.Pacik kat sebelah pun rasanya nampak tindak tanduk aku.Cis,hilang keayuan aku haritu.Dahlah hasil lap tu beterbangan merata,kena baju pacik tu lagi(tapi rasanya dia tak perasan,aamiin2).

Setelah penat mengelap,habis sepaket tissu,bersih jugak tangan aku,tapi rasa macam tak nak tengok je baju pacik tu yang kena coklat.Nak mintak maaf malu pulak.Nampak macam aku ni pengotor je.Lesson of the day,jangan genggam coklat masa tidur, dia cepat cair, dan nampak sangat hodoh bila cair kat tangan kau.

From Wana with Love 💕